Finding Debra

One Adventure at a Time

Yes, I’m Offended……….

“Big or Small, Let’s Save Them All”

This was what I was bombarded with as I walked with my family at my first Race for the Cure.

Don’t get me wrong…..I’m grateful for the men, women, (and yes, children) wearing the shirts with these words written upon them. I’m grateful for the money they’ve raised in the hopes of a cure. I’m saddened if they have experienced a horrible diagnosis or loss.

But the message they send…….I’m Offended.

There, I’ve said it.

This fight isn’t about saving “tatas”, it’s about saving lives.

Trust me, I wouldn’t want to lose any part of my body to a disease, but this is so much more than that.

I recall a few years ago, a dear friend of mine was fund-raising for Juvenile Diabetes, something that is so personal to her. I remember in her email, she commented about how Juvenile Diabetes wasn’t a “sexy” disease that got a lot of attention…..referring of course to breast cancer.

I admit that at first I was offended….it was a gut reaction. But I know what she’s referring to…..all the campaigns for breast cancer that are more sexual in nature. And there are plenty of them……Save the Tatas, Feel your Boobies, etc. They do get attention.

As a blogger, I’ve been pitched by PR for certain breast cancer type campaigns. And declined. Some of these organizations raise a lot of money. The story behind their creation at times are devastating. Sometimes they are trying to find humor in a bad situation.

I get that. I really do.

But, there is nothing sexy about breast cancer.

There was nothing sexy about my mom crying as my Dad shaved her head once clumps began falling out.

There was nothing sexy about seeing her beg for “no more” after her first chemo week.

There was nothing sexy about watching her suffer.

There was nothing sexy about watching them remove her from life support.

Chemo took her life. Cancer changed ours.

My Daughter and Nephew

My 5 year old daughter and 7 year old nephew, along with countless other children, see those messages. That’s not the message that I want them to focus on.

They walked for their Grandma that day. They walked in the hopes that they don’t ever have to lose their own mother to breast cancer. They walked in the hopes that there is a cure one day soon.

They didn’t walk to save the tatas. They walked to save lives.

There is a difference.

(Please join me as I continue to talk about breast cancer this month in memory of my own mother, who lost her life at the young age of 55.) – Updated from original publishing in 2011

Comments

  1. I sooooo agree with you. I’m a breast cancer survivor of 8 years. I had to have a double mastectomy and months of chemo to save my life. It wasn’t easy but I feel so fortunate (and somewhat guilty at times) to be one of the ones who made it. I lost my sister to breast cancer at age 46.

    I cringe when I see ‘save the tatas’ shirts and signs. I couldn’t save mine, and who cares!? The fact is that I lived. That’s the goal… not to save body parts.

    Though I will have to admit I once saw a shirt that said, “Yes, they’re fake. The real ones tried to kill me.” That did give me a chuckle.

    I’m so sorry you lost your mom.

    • Thank you so much Jan for sharing your story, and I’m so sorry about the loss of your sister. You have been through so much.

  2. Well said. Well said. I find it offensive as well. I understand that the slogans are attention grabbers, but the slogans are a distraction to the cause. I hope your boldness to speak out about how it really affects families will help lead to a change in how Breast Cancer Awareness is represented.

  3. I never thought about this from the perspective that you’re coming from before. I am sorry about the loss of your family members from breast cancer and your concerns for your own health.

  4. Hi Debra….Well, I’m glad that someone finally said what I have been thinking about for quite awhile! My mom had breast cancer and beat it, however I lost a very dear friend of mine to breast cancer. Seeing all of those stickers on cars that say “Save the tatas” makes me very uncomfortable. And like you said, we should concentrate on trying to save lives. I am so sorry for your loss and will be lifting you up in prayer during this difficult time. Thank you for your courage to stand up and call attention to LIFE…not a body part. Let’s teach our children what’s really important!! Hugs to you!

    • Thank you Laurie……give your mom a hug for me, k? So sorry you too have lost someone close to you….and I appreciate your prayers! Thank you.

  5. I’m so sorry you’ve lost your Mom. I’ve often felt that twinge of being offended when I’ve seen these campaigns, but could never really put into words why. You’ve done it beautifully. Thanks for your post!

  6. Wonderful perspective. Lost my dear sister-in-law to breast cancer 7 years ago. She would have done anything and did I might add to save her life for her family and those she loved so much.

  7. Ugh. I hear you about the sexualization of breast cancer–it’s so wrong. I’m also all for humor at the right time (“feel your boobies” seems crass and yet I feel like it’s ok if it’s going to make women actually perform self-exams) but in a special time like a walk where so many are doing it in honor of lost loved ones “save the tatas” IS offensive. I know we talked about this in person, but one of my friends just had both of her breasts removed and it’s to save her LIFE not her body parts.

  8. This post is amazing, Debra, it gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. I have no doubt that there are lots of people who wouldn’t have realized the way that these sort of messages can be taken by people who have been so deeply affected by breast cancer. You should be so proud of all that you do every year to help find that cure!